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What is Love?

Verse of the Day

The Bedroom? PDF Print E-mail
Monday, 03 May 2010 20:24



The Bedroom?

Devotional done by Ess-Jee from 



So many people asked me this question lately: “How do we know whether sex in marriage is driven by lust, or that what we do is in line with God’s Word?” 

The world we live in sends out signals of lust using every possible medium - it’s difficult for a Christian to escape this. We became so confused about what the Lord really meant with sex. I know of many couples that rent pornographic movies to spice up their sex lives. Others try and see if they are sexual compatible, and will do everything before marriage except sex itself. The Lord designed sex to be practiced in marriage. Why then are 85% of marriages sexless? Why are people committing adultery?

To get some answers for our questions we must firstly define: What is Love based sex and what is Lust based sex.

 The Bible says, "love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things

, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will

fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away" (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NKJV).

Let’s dissect this scripture and apply it to sex.

·        Sex love based suffers long and is kind.

·        Sex love based does not envy.

·        Sex love based does not parade itself.

·        Sex love based is not puffed up.

·        Sex love based does not behave rudely.

·        Sex love based does not seek its own (way or will).

·        Sex love based is not provoked.

·        Sex love based thinks no evil.

·        Sex love based does not rejoice in iniquity.

·        but rejoices in the truth.

·        ; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

From the text then, Love based sex is based on others’ needs. It means searching for the Lord’s answers and not the world’s. The more you and your spouse are intimate with God, the more your intimacy will grow in the bedroom. The more you pray for, and with each other, the more God’s love will flow between the two of you and the Lord.

The problem with lust is that it never gets fulfilled. If you had your needs met, you’re probably already thinking about the next encounter.

Lust is: “an Intense or unbridled sexual desire, intense longing: craving; (v) to have an intense desire or need, crave.”

If one demands his or her own will and ways in a marriage, it is bound to grow cold and loveless. Many couples don’t know that the marriage has a life of its own. Your marriage is either growing healthy, or growing cold. If your love for one another is driven by lust or merely comfort, then setting yourself up for big trials and tribulations when you’re married is only what will naturally follow.

Marriage is a covenant between a man, a women and GOD. Not many people are treating marriage that way. Marriage was meant to last forever, a choice was made and one must stick to it. Love is not a feeling, but a choice.

The same thing applies to sex. It always comes down to a choice one must make. So let’s start choosing to love our spouse unconditionally, asking the Lord to help us. The answers we’re looking for we can only get from God. God designed marriage to be good in every aspect. Let’s start praying that the Lord will help us to see what He wanted marriage and sex to be like.






Last Updated on Sunday, 29 April 2012 20:25
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